My first day of work is tomorrow and I'm hoping that will mark a turning point in my attitude towards the decision I made to move out here and do this. The past week and a half has been filled with self realizations and thought, but not in the good way. I've realized I have NO idea what I want to do with my life short term or long term and that moving to the middle of no where by myself in an attempt to experiment and figure that out may not have been my smartest move. I think I may in fact be more of a city dweller than I ever allowed myself to believe, who likes vacation escapes to the wilderness. However, I am committed now and at least I'm figuring this out now rather with a 3 month commitment rather than a much longer commitment. So, I'm terrified and second guessing everything like crazy. I am trying with all my will to stay positive but have never had this much trouble doing that before in my life.
But, I felt this way in Chile and once I got into a routine things got MUCH better so I am currently HOPING and PRAYING with all my will that starting work tomorrow will bring the steadiness and routine I am lacking and help improve my attitude. Nervous is an understatement but I have to believe things will be better once I start work tomorrow.
Soon, I will post pictures and describe my location and everything in a post. For now, please think happy thoughts and send them my way!!
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